I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
