I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
