I hate your face
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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