I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
