I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
