Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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