The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
