i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
