i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
