So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
