oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
