Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
