when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
