I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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