Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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