I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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