hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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