a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
What a dumb baby whore.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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