hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
