My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
