But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
