Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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