You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
