Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
