When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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