Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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