I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
