yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
