...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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