i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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