at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
