But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Did I show you my penis last night?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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