You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
