dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
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