My first STD was from a foam party
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
