I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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