You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
