I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
