you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
