honey bunches of taint.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize