You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
nutella sex= disaster
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
