My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
