new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
smell my finger.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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