Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
