so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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