So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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