At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
