I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
