would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
