the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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