you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
