Duck Duck Cougar?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
