Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
