just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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