Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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