we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
