I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
