As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
