Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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