i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
